


I Don't Believe in Ghosts

by somanygalaxies



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, I decided that the venator wreckage was Too Sad and put a change to that, aka the fic where cal DID find a padawan in the wreckage, help girl i want to give a character that barely has a name lore, wait theres more!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29525991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanygalaxies/pseuds/somanygalaxies
Summary: As Cal made his way through the Venator wreckage, he felt the never ending pestering of eyes watching him. He, of course, thought this would dissipate as he worked through various imperial troops and bounty hunters. Strangely enough, it never wavered.That is, until he was face-to-face with the business end of a very old blaster.~~~aka: the fic where I decided the Venator wreckage puzzle was too sad and needed to change that: Cal found a survivor.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Ghost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I went through the Venator Wreck and it wrecked me lol. That puzzle was sad man, so sad, so I decided to make it happier. Kinda. Anyways, if this somehow reeled you in, enjoy!

It felt like eyes were boring into his being his entire trip through the Venator wreckage. Stumbling upon the troops and hunters actually brought Cal some relief, believing them to be the origin of the twisting in his stomach. Alas, it turned out to be not, and Cal had to make his way out in a state of hyper awareness.

  
It was his luck, of course, that he ended up face-to-face with the business end of an old, Clone Wars era blaster. The hold was firm and the position point blank, yet no winning shot came. Sunken amber eyes glared at him, asking a question the boy holding the weapon would not vocalize.

  
There was something about this boy that Cal could not put his finger on, but it pooled a mix of anxiety and dread in his gut. BD beeped threateningly, holding an electrified foot up.

  
“Uh, hey, how about we relax and talk this out.” Cal lifted a hand to pat BD's foot down. Despite it all, Cal couldn’t seem to draw his lightsaber on the boy, and that became a concerning thought in and of itself. At least the boy didn’t look Imperial. “I’m Cal, who are you?”

  
It was a desperate attempt at de-escalating the situation. The blaster twitched, but the boy made no sound. After a moment, the boy flicked his head towards a chipped stormtrooper helmet on the grate below, eyes never leaving his.

  
Maybe he was mute? Cal could try working with that. “No, I’m not with them.” The blaster lowered a bit, but it stayed focused on his form. Good, that was good. He kept his hands up in a placating manner, but Cal felt he had the room to breathe again. “I’m not here to fight. I’m just trying to leave in one piece if I can.”

  
The boy cocked his head towards the small opening above that streamed in what little light the wreckage site had.

  
Oh. “Do you want to leave?” It took a few seconds, but the boy nodded. “I can help- we can help each other leave.” Oh, Greez and Cere were going to kill him when they found out. That is, of course, if the boy in front of him didn’t first.

  
BD whistled, both in agreement and apprehension with his impulsivity. Hey, if BD could mess with a massive cutter just because he could, Cal could impulsively help a scraggly boy.

  
For the first time, the boy's eyes flickered, and Cal felt the lingering feeling of being watched dissipate briefly. Cal let him have the moment to contemplate and took the time to further take in their surroundings, keeping watch in the boy’s brief moment of vulnerability.

  
He could see the burns of blaster fire and lightsaber movement all along the wall, both fresh and aged. Some were from Cal’s recent encounters, but not many. It was certainly a vessel that went down during the Purge, and the thought made bile rise in the back of his mouth.

  
There were Jedi on board, and the further Cal ventured into the wreckage, the more it became evident that they did not survive.

  
BD cooed, rubbing his head against his cheek. Cal chuckled softly, both at BD’s comfort and in effort to conceal his inner turmoil, patting the droid atop their head. “Yeah, I’ll be okay, buddy… Just some old memories, is all.”

  
The boy returned his intense gaze, nodding curtly. “Okay, well, I was headed through this hallway. I can draw the attention of the troopers ahead if you can lay cover fire?” There was absolutely no reason Cal should create an opening like that, but he couldn’t leave the kid behind for Imps to hunt down. Nor could he throw the kid at waves of imps with only a blaster.

  
Oh yeah, Cere was going to kill him.

  
But, really, there was not a single warning in the force around the boy. In fact, the force seemed to weep for him, pulling and tugging Cal to his aid. There was a strong chance the boy was one of the Zeffo villagers who managed to find himself stranded in the wreckage while escaping the imperial invasion a few years back. And the thought stirred empathetic pity in his gut.

  
The blaster moved to his peripheral, and the boy nodded. Resolute, Cal got him set up behind him, firmly in the corner of his eye, and began their trek through the tilted wreckage. BD clutched tightly to his back, beeping in affirmation that he would keep an eye on the boy for him. The little droid seemed ready to pounce on the boy’s shoulder as a line of defense in case he tried anything.

  
Cal held the weight of his concealed saber in his hand, realizing all too late that fighting in front of the boy meant revealing who he was.

  
Staring at the trooper in front of him, Cal sighed, resigned to his fate. “Kid, I hope you’re ready to get real cool with some things real fast.” The comment was more for himself, but the boy jerked to peer up at him, suspicion radiating from him.

  
One last moment of contemplation, and Cal leapt in.

  
There wasn’t much more Cal could say as he swung into the fray, taking down the trooper ahead in one blow before beginning a long process of parries and counters with the purge trooper off to the side. Cover fire never came, and Cal couldn’t tell if he was grateful or not for the lack of distraction.

  
Once the purge trooper was taken care of, Cal moved to find the boy.

  
Wide, wild amber eyes stared at him, almost through him, flooding thick with fear that was quickly replaced with desperate anger. He gestured aggressively to his ‘saber, accusation ripe in his demeanor.

  
Cal really hoped he hadn’t made a mistake. “I know what this looks like, and I promise, no matter what, I will get you somewhere safe. But, I need you to keep me a secret.” There was no movement aside from the narrowing of his glare. “Please.”

  
The boy waved wildly at the saber, again, before pointing to him. “Yeah, yeah, it’s mine.” The boy’s lips thinned before tapping his wrist questioningly. “Um.. about six years go? Well, sort of. I got- wait, this is complicated, we should get out of here first.”

  
Cal made to move out of the room, but the boy stayed put. “Hey, I promise to tell you later, but we really can’t stay. It’s not safe.” The boy’s eyes tracked his saber, and it almost seemed he wasn’t even listening. “I know you must’ve heard stories about my people, but I will not hurt you. I’m a peacekeeper, please, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  
Yeah, he was getting attached. BD bounced around them both, trying to herd them out the door.

  
Amber eyes finally moved back up to his own, and the boy moved to put his blaster on his hip and grasp something behind him. A moment of indecipherable deliberation, then he let go and moved beside Cal, motioning for them to continue.

  
A breath of relief escaped him. “Let’s go. Make sure to blast anyone when you have the shot. BD, stay with him. Kid, keep BD out of trouble.” Offended noises left BD and a metal limb knocked him on the head. “Uh huh, sure.” BD beeped apprehensively, moving slowly across Cal’s arm.

  
The boy crossed his arms, clearly not amused, but begrudgingly allowed BD to climb up to his shoulder. “It’ll be okay buddy, don’t worry.” Who he was talking to, not even Cal knew.

  
The rest of the passage went by much smoother, and Cal took care to explore the memories left behind as subtly as he could. Cover fire certainly helped, and BD was perfectly content to distract the boy when Cal was stuck in a forgotten memory.

  
It was during their last few moments up, though, that Cal came to the extremely belated realization that his new charge was missing an entire hand. The boy gazed at the climbing rope longingly. It was becoming clear just why the young man hadn’t been able to sneak out yet.

  
It took some convincing, but he eventually had the boy strapped to his back with a repurposed climbing rope and BD to keep a hold of both of their backs. While the boy seemed to be in his late teens, his weight on Cal's back was rather minimal. The boy kept aim over his shoulder, taking out the last remaining troopers before they finally made their way out of the wreckage.

  
There was a burial in that last room, but the boy was urgently encouraging him to walk out through various movements and occasional blaster shots at the wall. Cal left it behind, deciding the boy’s desired freedom was far more important than his mere curiosity.

  
“Finally free, huh.” The boy hummed in response, still draped across his back, caught in the wonder of the outside world. It was the first time Cal heard the boy make any noise. “I have most of this way cleared earlier, so the rest should be easy.”

  
He felt a slight nod against his shoulder. “Sleep if you need to. I can take us the rest of the way, and I’ll wake you up if there’s any problems.” The boy’s breath hitched, obviously uncomfortable with the idea, but Cal could feel him losing the battle with consciousness. “Keep an eye on him, will ya, BD?”

  
He received a series of beeps in response, reminding him that they had, in fact, already agreed to that, thank you very much. A soft smile graced his face, and Cal began the long trek back. There was little opposition for once. Whatever did pop up was an easy flick over a ledge.

  
The boy needed medical attention, and he was eternally grateful he managed to push Greez into investing in a medical droid just a few standard rotations back.

  
Needless to say, Cere and Greez were not immediately pleased with his decision, their exasperation clear as the Tatooine sky, but they quickly warmed up to the kid as he placed him bundled up on a cot. Merrin was confused but supportive of his judgement, jumping to apply the minimal first aid her magick could offer while the med droid fully powered on.

  
Cere approached him while the boy was tended to. “So, what’s his name?”

  
“I’m not sure. I think he’s mute, or, at least, partially. He hummed once, but outside of that, he communicated solely in gestures. He must’ve been living in that wreckage for a long time.”

  
Cere placed a hand on his shoulder. “As much as I would prefer you did not bring every unknown survivor back to the Mantis, I’m sure you must’ve felt it.”

  
He furrowed his brows. “I mean, the force pulled me towards him, but I’m not sure that's what you're talking about.”

  
The hand on his shoulder gripped just the slightest bit tighter. “This.” Cal reached out, grasping the cold metal Cere held out. Cal instantly glanced downwards. In his hand, almost carelessly grazing his bare fingers, rested a lightsaber.

  
A child’s lightsaber.

  
In that moment, memories flooded his mind and immense sorrow threatened to consume him.


	2. A Past Better Left Unlived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cal juggles memories that are not his own and getting to know the boy of the wreckage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more!! :D

_ “Run, Padawan, get out of here!” _

_ “No, Master, I won’t leave you!” _

Cal couldn’t shake the memories shuffling around his brain as he stared into the eyes of a barely conscious boy. Amber eyes were partly glazed over as awareness slowly dawned on him.

The boy had slept for a solid week once he was out cold.

Face softened, Cal looked away to give the boy a moment to rouse. Complex emotions swirled around him, thick with despair and utter hopelessness, stitched together with a fine thread of longing. The soft foundation of his heart threatened to brittle and crumble apart.

The heart monitor exploded in a fury of beeping, each beat morphing together into one as the rate sped up far past healthy. It took all Cal had to restrain his own flurry of emotion. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He withheld placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder, despite his unceasing desire to comfort the kid. “Do you remember me? We left the wreckage together.”

He looked at Cal, both seemingly sizing him up and looking through him at the same time. Familiarity and apprehension danced across his face before petering off into guarded steel. His eyes, sharp and calculating, cut through the sleep-addled haze that had overtaken him.

_ He managed to disguise himself as a trooper, once, when he got tall enough. For the first time, he had to praise the being that blessed him with a mid-range build. It worked for much longer than what should have been possible, but the end came much sooner than he ever could have hoped. _

_ He had almost made it past the blasted climbing rope when blaster-fire skimmed his ear _ .

Cal mentally shook his head, desperate to stay in the here-and-now. The boy still gazed at him, a sense of fear and longing woven into his very being. A beat, and then he nodded slowly, shifting closer to a sitting position.

Whether out of a sense of unfaltering defenselessness or the faint beginnings of trust, the boy huddled close to the wall, eyes focused solely on Cal, but made no move to bolt or fight.

Cal was determined to build on that flimsy foundation of trust. “I’m Cal Kestis. Is there a name I can call you by?” In a galaxy determined to wipe their existence from history itself, it was only natural to open the door for a new name, a fresh start.

_ “Initiate Marseph, would you do me the honor of being my Padawan learner?” No words had ever brought more joy to his whole world. They were words he’d immortalize into his very soul. _

The boy took a moment, humming, before, in shaky aurebesh, signing  _ Seph _ . Cal nodded, signing the name back in confirmation. “Alright, nice to meet you, Seph.” The boy bowed his head shallowly. “I owe you a story, but first, I believe this belongs to you.”

He held out the child sized saber. His palm was open in a careless grasp, the cool metal nearly slipping from his fingers from his lax grip. Seph was stuck in momentary shock before grasping for the saber with reckless abandon, cradling the weapon close to his chest and curling around it.

_ “Hurry, Padawan, we’re going to be late.” _

_ “Oh, but Master, I can’t find my lightsaber!” _

_ “Forgive me for sounding like a Council Member, the dreadfully boring lot, but that lightsaber is your life, you best not lose it so often.” A soft sigh soon overshadowed by a warm chuckle. “Check near the toaster, Padawan. I believe you last used it as a part of an experiment to make toast.” _

_ “Thanks, Master!” _

Cal gazed warmly at the scene, leaning forward to display his own saber in a relatively firmer grasp. “This saber was not originally mine, but it belonged to my Master,” he gave the boy a moment to digest his words before continuing. 

“I lost mine while trying to defend myself from my battalion. My Master protected me, but he didn’t make it on the way out. This part of my saber belonged to him. He gave it to me when he died.”

Cal stroked the emitter softly, willing the tears that always threatened to break when he thought of that day. “The other half is from… well, you could call her my other Master. I managed to break Master Tapal’s saber during a trial on Dathomir, and Cere, my other Master, gave me her old hilt to repair it.”

“My lightsaber was not originally my own, and the souls ingrained in them will forever follow me with their memory. But, I have made it my own, and it has become a part of me.” A lightsaber was never something easily stumbled upon, but it has become ever more a thing of legend with each passing year. To have the opportunity to rebuild one from the base of his Masters would be something he would be eternally grateful for.

Seph made no noise or motion to signal he was processing the words spoken to him, still fully absorbed with the blade in his hands, but Cal could feel his attention on him in the Force. “You’ve been alone for a long time, Seph. As a fellow Padawan who lost their Master to the purge, I am sorry for your loss.”

_ When Master Chiata was hit, Marseph felt his world fall apart. She wasn’t going to make it, but he couldn’t do this alone. He couldn’t handle losing his Master, and the thought filled him with all consuming anguish. _

_ Later, when his Master truly, and desperately, begged him to run, to escape, he couldn’t. He stayed by his Master to the very end, providing her with the only burial he could muster when he was able to accept her passing. His insistence kept him with his Master for as long as he could, but it cost him his hand and, ultimately, his ability to leave. _

_ It was his Master’s last wish, and he wasn’t able to fulfill it. _

“You can stay for as long as you want or need to, Seph.” As much as Greez and Cere were fretting over his hobby of picking up strays, Cal was sure they would accept Seph as a part of the crew in a heartbeat. “Just say the word, and we can get you set up somewhere safe.”

Seph still hadn’t moved, and Cal was a bit unsure if the boy truly knew the state of the galaxy. 

_ There were the occasional, scattered datapads that escaped being submerged. The pads themselves were slow, but their battery life was surprisingly strong. They couldn’t be recharged, so Marseph rationed their use, keeping them with him as a form of entertainment to keep him sane. _

_ As he made it to the higher levels, the data-pads could connect to the holo-net, but the damage to free access information by the Empire was already done. There was little Marseph could actually glem from what he could access. _

Cal would have to give him a rundown, at some point, regardless of where Seph decided to reside. He just hoped he could keep the boy under his wing for a little while, make sure he was prepared and trained for the galaxy ready to hunt him down and erase his very existence.

He also saw himself as a kindred spirit, and it brought a level of comfort to know he wasn’t the only Padawan to survive the Purge. Cal didn’t want to lose that connection quite yet.

Seph only nodded. It was much more than he got earlier, so Cal was going to take that as a small victory. Shuffling to the side, he grabbed a some-what forgotten plate of warm food Greez made for the boy.

“Here,” Cal placed the plate on the bed next to Seph. “Rations are rather bland, so this might be a little more palatable if you’re up for it.” The boy eyed the food before slowly placing his saber in his lap and cautiously reaching for the plate. “Eat it slow, though. The med-droid said it might take a while to get used to solid foods again.”

Seph dug in, and if Cal noticed the tears gathering at the base of the boy’s eyes, he made no comment.

* * *

It took a week for Seph to be allowed off bedrest, but he didn’t move much outside of the small, makeshift medbay for a while. Words came to him slowly, only monosyllabic sounds every so often, but it was progress that made Cal’s heart soar. 

It made Greez’s days, too, as much of what Seph tried to annunciate were foods the Latero made for him. Greez would brighten up at any attempt Seph made and would jump at the chance to help his pronunciation. The Latero was currently on the mission to teach the boy how to cook, but it was one he was having a hard time starting.

Cere liked to work with Seph’s mediations, working him through the process of trusting in the Force again. It was a grueling process, but it was one that Cere knew would be well worth it. Cal thought Cere was just happy to take on another student.

At first it seemed that Seph and Merrin were relatively indifferent towards each other. They would spend long periods of silence together, never really speaking or acknowledging one another. It took longer than anyone would like to admit that Seph was silently teaching Merrin that art of a  _ prank war _ . 

The two spent their time gauging each other and curating overly-complicated plans. Through their acts of one-upping each other, they began playing games of dejarik, and occasionally Sabacc that Greez would rope them into, that somehow reflected the current state of their pranks. As long as he was left out of it, Cal was thoroughly impressed and quietly supported them from the sidelines.

As it stood, Seph was nursing a caf seasoned with salt and Merrin was rocking partially pink dyed hair, and their dejarik board was becoming an interesting watch to see progress.

BD attached himself to Seph’s side when Cal was busy. He loved chattering and trying to explain different and new things to the boy. It was clear that Seph’s understanding of binary was rudimentary at best, but it really didn’t stop BD. He’d pull out holo-projections and holo-recordings to supplement his points, and Seph seemed to enjoy both learning from BD and showing him some different Sabacc tricks in exchange. 

All of those tricks, of course, were borderline cheating and illegal and most likely courtesy of Greez’s teachings. BD  _ loved _ it.

Cal spent his time either observing Seph, basking in the light of another force user, or chatting about different adventures he’s been on since the Purge in effort to coax the boy to talk about anything at all. He avoided talk of times before the Purge, sparing either of them the emotional trauma associated. He was rather unsuccessful in getting Seph to talk about himself, but the boy seemed to enjoy their time together and was trying to engage in conversation, even ever so minorly, much to Cal’s immense excitement.

Emotion broke one night when, during a lull one of their many one-sided chats about everything and nothing at all, Seph threw himself at Cal, arms wrung around his neck, tears racing down his face and into Cal’s tunic. Seph couldn’t articulate exactly what he wanted to say, and his signs were rough, shaky, and near indecipherable. But Cal could feel the boundless feelings of sorrow and gratitude twirling through the room and pulling the two of them together.

_ Thank you _ . Cal wrapped his arms around the boy, rubbing circles on his back, emotions of his own flooding through him as he vowed to never break the trust placed in him and to protect one of the only pieces of his culture’s shattered past as best he could. 

Seph left the next night with little notice, leaving behind his saber with a note vowing to return once he found his life again. Until then, he wanted the  _ Mantis _ to keep it safe, promising to keep in contact in return.

Actual contact was sparse, but it seemed he was running parallel with the Rebellion but never quite joining them. Cal narrowly ran into him several times when searching ancient temples, and he had a feeling Seph was on a journey to find his own meaning in the Force. 

Something, and Cal had a tough time coming to terms with this, would be rather difficult if attempted alongside Cal’s own journey in the Force. Their journeys were connected but branched out in their own unique ways, and Cal had to let Seph go so he could make his own way.

The next time he ever truly met Seph was long after the reign of the Empire met its end, and a young Jedi named Skywalker, the one who brought the end to the Sith as they knew it, wanted to gather the remnants of the old Order. At a safe location, he assured.

Old habits die hard, and Cal found himself in disguise and scoping out the gathering place before ever attempting to join. It seemed everyone invited were doing this as well, including one Seph.

Luke Skywalker was ever understanding of their hesitance and promised to change locations of their gatherings each time if anyone wished to gather with him again. Cal had to admit, he never met someone so blindingly light as the young Jedi, and he was glad that of everyone to rebuild and rejuvenate the order, it would be him.

He managed to run into Seph towards the end of the gathering, and Cal was relieved to see him unharmed and a soothing sort of calm. Seph stayed a man of few words, never quite becoming fully vocal, and he took a hold of his old saber with a grace Cal could never quite replicate when Cal presented it. Cal never really left that saber behind, always hidden inside one of his various ponchos, on the off chance he would see the boy again.

For the first time, the effort, and honestly at this point, habit, paid off.

Seph would occasionally run jobs with the crew after the gathering, happily joining Greez in creating new dishes and running him dry in Sabacc, and delightfully challenging Merrin to various games of dejarik and the occasional prank. 

Even after so many years, and only a relatively short time spent on board, Seph melded back into their daily lives smoothly and easily each and every time.

Cal never mentioned his psychometry or the life he experienced through the boy’s saber. Marseph was a being of another galaxy, one both darker and lighter than current reality, and Cal was certainly happy to leave that name in the past and embrace Seph for who he wanted to be and who he had become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came to me in a vision
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> That ended up being a lot longer than I thought.  
> Going through the puzzle, I knew it was going to be sad, but I had desperate hope that just made me sadder in the end :(. So, I decided to take this offhand, one-lined, undefined padawan and give him lore. And let him live, because I’m sappy and needed a happier ending.  
> I put so much into developing a backstory for Marseph and like none of it made it into the final draft. RIP me.  
> Anyways, I took a very nonexistent character, brought him back to life, and developed him bc his death made me sad :P


End file.
